In today’s Skype-sharing with Kit, we explored the place in the mind where the little child for the first time discovers that mom/dad is ” another.” Suddenly they are different: the all encompassing Love we felt has been withdrawn, and here is somebody else who uses a new and scary angry voice – they look quite different – their energy is different.
We felt the shock in the system – the shock that our parent could be “somebody alien”, and the terror of that – and we made a decision: “I will lock it off.”
We massacred our brain: neurons, do NOT go the usual direction. We are in great danger: reroute,reroute! Lock that shock into the system for good.
And next time our parent is “different”, we are trained to circumvent the old shock-reaction: we are trained to deal with it with anger, force and control. We overpower the other.
And what we have locked into our systems, we now subconsciously project into our children – as Kit described today had happened when her little son refused to dress and go to Kindergarten.
Our headaches disappear as we allow the old locks to be unlocked. The grief flows out,then the peace – and the clear insight that the “changed” parent did not came from evil or hatred – they came from their own indoctrination – just ignorance, just an error.
Stop – breathe when you feel these patterns. Stop the automatic repetition: sense what goes on in the body, be willing to open what you closed of, be willing to forgive it, to have your beliefs about what this all meant, to be corrected.
Seen down to the core -there are no guilty ones
All that ever happened is that (very few) people have been raised – and trained – to deal with anger in a child in a healthy way: “I see that you are angry now. I will sit here with you, and I’d love to hear what is going on.”